What i love about my Life!

I love the way my heart pumps
every time my thought lingers on you.

I love the way my mind becomes so relax
every time you invade it.

I so love my life
because YOU'RE IN IT!

A D Z H A R

A- am so in love with you,
D- do you know that?
Z- zanily my heart beats for you,
H- have you noticed that?
A- amidst everything i do
R- rare are the times that i haven't thought of you!

--written last December 13, 2007 at 1324hrs dedicated to my one and only love ---

look-alike

Hahahahahahaha..... i look more like a guy!!! ka look-alike ko mostly are guys!!!!

Baliktad kami ng mahal ko!

My love's celebrity look-alike

Wow! Pretty pala ang honey ko pag girl!

Pero 'wag kayo love na love ko yan!

My Honey's look-alike

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

Excited

"Sa mga sandaling ito,
mata ko'y laging napapatingin
sa malaking orasan
sapagkat ako'y nagagalak
na ika'y muling makita't makasama.
Haay! kalahating oras pa talaga!
Para sa akin ito'y matagal pa
bago kita'y muling makasama."

----written last December 12, 2007 at the office
while waiting for the time, it was 4:39pm then,
and i was so excited to see my love again,
when the bell rang at 5:00pm i quickly got my things
and whooshhhh.... i ran down the stairs taking it
two at a step... punched out my DTR, and there he was
in his polo shirt and maong pants.... waiting for me at the parking area...
(boy... he looks so handsome)
while he was watching me walked towards him
i felt so thankful that he is once again back in my life,
(though he was not "typically" out of my life, just some misunderstanding)
and i owe it to a very good guy named Jamil....
Thank you Kuya!-----

A little Pain

Last night when you went home,
I felt a little pain in my heart,
How i wish you would not leave me alone
every time you went home.

Last night as i was laying myself to bed,
I felt a little pain my heart,
How i wish you would lay beside me every night,

Early this morning as i woke up,
I felt a little pain in my heart,
How i wish it's your face that greets me every morning
instead a lonely pillow besides me.

Tell me my love when will this wishes gonna come true
Dez, please tell me these words i long to hear...
"Very soon my love, very soon..."

--12122007--
--0936hrs--

Celebrity look alike of my Kuya Mhel

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

Thanks Kuya!

Atty. (of my lovelife)

I cant seem to find the words
to express how much i appreciated you
you're such a good friend, a good brother
and a good man.
How can i express my utmost thanks
to the person who brings my life back to me
(my love is my life)
Maybe a portion in my blog is not enough
to thank you for bringing my love back to me
but as of now that's all i can do
it may not be enough.... but believe me
it came from my heart.
THANK YOU!

I am Grace Kelly!

look it's me.... turning into Grace Kelly....
do i look pretty?

Different

the biggest banana i have seen so far

it's the same or perhaps much bigger

than my brother's & sister's arm

it is bigger than my 1 yr old nephew's arms and legs.

this banana is different from all other bananas i have seen

it is my first time to have seen such

banana so big.....

so different.

*****************

i also seen and observed a different person

in a friend (i thought he is)

when in our 1st day 

we (me and some friends) were absent

we thought he might provide us the information we need

we thought even if we hadn't asked 

he would had gave it to us anyway, anyhow

but we were so damn wrong

so wrong....

after that incident, he sort of move away

away from our not-so-bright group

i see a different person in him...

so that's his true color...

now we know.

Questions unanswered

gone now are the pain in my arms

leaving only itchiness as it completely heals

and very soon only scars for a reminder.

tonight, i forced myself to close my eyes

and my brain to rest in slumber,

but despite the efforts

my eyes won't let me close them 

without letting the tears rolled down my cheeks

and my brain won't let me rest

without bringing back questions about thee.

How will i answer such questions

when i myself don't know of the answers?

Shall i move on?

or shall i wait for thee?

Either way the aches won't stop.

When will this end?

--29112007--

At the wedding

I just arrived home from attending a wedding of a cousin,

As a "sponsor", well i am not really the sponsor, 

i am just a proxy, (this is my 2nd time to be a sponsor by proxy *smile*)

*********

i was sitting in front with all other sponsors.

I took the liberty of taking the photos of the bride and groom, 

though they are not really the topic of this portion of my blog.

(Then why on earth am i putting their photos here...

Perhaps, a token for allowing me to be a sponsor by proxy?

Maybe.... *shrug*)

*********

Well, same as all other muslim weddings, 

almost every one who attended were using their best

attires with all the glittering silver and gold attached in it, 

as well as the glittering Gold (or was it gold plated only?) jewelries.

I was, well, a bit out of place.

*********

I was wearing a violet blouse with blaser,

a long black skirt, a black veil and a black sexy 2.5 inches high sandal (or was it 3 inches?)

I wore a lipstick, a face powder and an eyeliner  on my face.

and of course i wore a SMILE.

S I M P L E  (yet for me... beautiful)

**********

As i was walking the aisle with my Dad

i can sense that almost every one in that room

were staring at me... i just held my head up high

and walked with a big SMILE on my face.

Perhaps, they were staring at me because among the sponsors,

i am the only one who wears no fancy glitters.

Well, maybe they were staring at me because i am BEAUTIFUL!

********

SIMPLICITY IS BEAUTY.

********

As i was in front sitting i can't help but notice this guy

who always stares at me.... as if he is handsome.

(Sorry na lang sya, di ko sya type!)

********

In front, you can see almost everyone,

boy, those people were really "SHOWY"

everyone was looking at every piece of gold (or gold plated?)

that they were wearing... as if comparing each piece with what they wore.

********

As i was looking around, i noticed the kids, playing....

they dont care if a ceremony was going on....

they just kept on playing and running around...

i loved what they were doing.... 

those kids were just being themselves... 

to be KIDS.

*********

At the wedding....

i can't help these emotions within to come out

i felt a little.... (ok not a little, but a lot) pain in my heart

that i should be attending my own wedding by now (i wish)

and not any other wedding... but MINE!

3 months ago, i am hopeful that that day (MY WEDDING DAY)

will soon (very soon) happen.

But that was a hope 3 months ago *tears in my eyes*

NOW, that hope is fading away....

*sobs*

(i hope i'll get over this heartache soon)

Initials

i had a dream

a dream with A.A.A.

a perfect dream.

i dream of becoming M.A.T.A.

now it seems like the dream 

is fading away..

fading awa...

fading aw...

fading a....

fading....

fadin...

fadi...

fad...

fa....

f...

.....

Cry

It's dawn,

i am crying.

three reasons:

first......

 i symphatized with my friend,

she has a sixteen year old daughter,

who is 2 months pregnant.

second.....

i am so pressured at my work,

and at school too.

i have reports to finish

and i have books to read

as well as memorize articles.

third....

it hurts to think

that i have to deal all of

these emotions all by myself.

that from now on i have to face

the truth that he is no longer here for me,

to comfort me every time i'm down and depressed.

I feel so alone! 

*tears running down my cheeks*

 he said he'd always be here for me

but where is he now?

there is nothing i can do but....

Cry! 

*sobs*

Rain

It's rainy seasons again,

Typhoon Lando had just left the country,

He left leaving a reminder that 

we should not abused our natural resources,

And now, it's super typhoon Mina,

It's GOD's way of letting us know

we have been  "BAD" 

When will will we learn?

Then again there's another rain,

A rain deep within me,

A rain that no man can see,

A rain that has been falling

ever since my love chose to remain silent,

--A silence that is so deafening.

This rain has been flooding my heart.

Have i been "BAD"?

When will i learn to stop the rain?

LLB

Last May 30, 2007... finally i decided and enrolled in the College of Law. I took full load.

I was at first so worried about everything. 

--- will i ever survive the first semester?

Now.... i can't really jump into conclusion thinking that "i did survived"... but i can say i already enrolled full load again this second semester.

And I'm still having "hang-overs" from the final exams... now, it's another 15 articles in Civil Code book IV for recitation on Monday!

Boy, am i really this serious to push through with this kind of  "hardship"?

Truthfully? i'm not that confident anymore as i used to be 3 months ago. Because 3 months ago, i have someone to share this dream with... 

3 months ago, when i felt depressed with my studies, i have someone who hugged me and whispered "kaya mo yan ga, ikaw pa!"..... 3 months ago.... i have a dream with this certain someone, now its all fading away. My friends in Law school would tell me "kaya natin 'to"... but it's all so different when someone so special would tell you, "kaya mo yan ga, i'll support you all the way". Even though how much i tried telling myself, don't think of him, keep yourself busy.... study... work... study.... but when matters-of-heart is the issue, you can never brushed it aside. (my heart is always crying--- when will this end?)

beauty in my garden

These flowers are few among the beauty in my garden. 

>>A Bougainvilla plant is usually taken for granted, 

we just left it at the far-end corner of our garden,

or most of us use it as a fence.

Yet, you must agree with me, it's beautiful

especially when it blooms.

>>A Euphorbia plant is once upon a time a "big deal",

Most women and some men, would go to places

just to buy this plant... i did that too (",)

It has many varieties, in different prices.

I collected some of it's varieties (see for yourself),

I was once upon-a-time crazy-in-love with this plant.

But it was worth it, look at its beauty.

>>A bridal plant (the blue one).

Actually it's not my plant, its our neighbor,

its tresspassing... in my garden!

(That's against the Law (",) joke)

Well, i just shot it,

Though its tresspassing, it still adds beauty

to my simple and small garden.

Sunset at home

These photos of sunset was taken right outside our family domicile... if you look outside your very own home, you will see the beauty of nature. We need not go to beaches or to a place overlooking the sea to be able to watch the beauty of sunset. Yes, the beauty of the sun setting over the waters is indeed breathtaking. But these views are indeed beautiful too though not that breathtaking.

Missing these...

Will i ever see those eyes staring at me

with all the love in the world?

Will i ever see those lips smiling at me

with silent words saying i love you?

When will this pain ends?

I miss your eyes,

I miss your smile,

I miss you Dez.

Will i ever get over you?

A game

Ok guys...

let's play a game...

Can you guess whose smiles are these?

Hint1: The Little Princess

Hint2: Airwoman

Hint3: Atty. Esguerra's fave in his class

feel free to enter your answers in the comment portion below (",)

MY DATE!

everynight i have a date,

everynight i would drink coffee with my date,

my date always keeps me company,

my date stands as witness to the tears 

that rolled down my cheeks everynight,

my date would never get tired of me,

it's me that is always getting tired of my date.

MY DATE.....

MY BOOKS....

the beauty in cactus

Don't judge a book by its cover....

cactii plants may look ugly,

because of the thorns that surrounds it,

This cactus plant was taken from my collection of cactii,

it's the beauty when it blooms that really caught my attention.

it's beauty is incomparable.

On Top of the World!

I'm on top of the world!

While on top of a ferry's wheel...

i took the liberty of admiring this view.

People would wait in line for their turn

to ride.

Despite the busy life and the economic crisis,

people would find time to relax and enjoy life.

my arms

Two days ago (Sunday 11th of November), we (my family and friends) went on a picnic at Inland Resort in Boalan. 

These are the results of my being "atribida" to slide at the highest single slide.

While sliding, something goes wrong, and instinct would usually tell us to hold the sides of the slides and try to stop it from continuing to slide down.... but i made a wrong decision... very wrong indeed, because, in just a few seconds i felt my skin burning (due to the friction of my skin against the sides of the slides),

at that moment, i quickly pulled back my arms and cover my face... i continue to slide down...until i reached the water... it really felt good to finally felt the splash of the water that finally its over...

Nevertheless, my arms ache.... my arms now had scratches... and it still hurts.

(Better to have aches physically than emotionally)

Another day has ended!

Today is the 10th day of November (2007)....

As usual, i walked more than 5 rounds

at the grandstand oval....

I saw usual faces of  people who always jogged and/or walked:

A tall and big guy in a gray shirt

who always wear a hand towel on his head;

A not-so-tall and fat man who always talked in a cellphone;

A small and fair-skinned woman who walked so fast that 

i can't keep up with her pace;

Kids jogging barefooted in their karate attires;

Two ladies who jogged while talking about their boyfriends 

(i overheard it... matters of the heart ('',) );

A medium height, medium built man jogging in his military shorts;

And many others.... as well as new faces.

Now, the sun has set...

Another day has ended...

the physical pain i felt is finally deteriorating

but the pains in my heart aches more and more each day,

ANOTHER DAY HAS ENDED

tomorrow is another painstaking day,

that's life.... *sigh*

Pains!

My body is aching....

because for two days in a row now

i walked more than  5 rounds 

at the grandstand oval... 

hopefully i could still stand tomorrow

and go to work... and of course

walk again tomorrow afternoon.

While walking....

my heart is aching too...

its been like this more than a month now,

there were times, at the oval,

that my tears were on the verge of falling

but i tried to keep it from falling

i was afraid that people might see me cry.

If i can only choose....

which pain above i would like to have

and the other one will just vanish,

i'll choose the body pain...

a pain than can be cured instantly

by medicines in so short of time.

Because the pain from the heart

  may or may not be cured by time.

How i wish...

Time will be at my side,

that in so short of time

i will no longer feel this pain.

How i hope...

that strength will be my weapon,

that i can tolerate this pain

and eventually conquer it.

For "YOU" who caused me this misery,

I wish you all the blessings of GOD,

I pray for your happiness through life,

I thank you for all the mem'ries we have

I'll treasure it forever,

and someday when we meet again,

I hope we could still smile at each other,

talk and laugh at the mem'ries we shared.

---- 09112007---

Less Paramount to You

On a jaded evening,

A depleted mind needs to repose.

In preparing the journey to slumber,

i phoned you my love,

I was bewildered 

when my call was discarded!

And you dispatched a message divulging

the motive for the rejection,

it unravels "i'm playing".

Silent pain follows my love,

and to augment the agony,

You, my love, made not even a move

to halt this misery.

It hurts me to contemplate

that all these years i am still

less paramount to you.

How dense of me to think

that i already monopolized

the zenith of your priority list,

but i am amiss!

Now, my love, i know not where i stand,

for i feel i'm the least of your priority,

yet you told me i am important.

Then why, my love, why?

Why do you show a manifest attitute

that i am indeed,

that indeed i am...

LESS PARAMOUNT TO YOU

---010152007---

A Baby

 A Baby..... 

in whatever angle... is beautiful.

A Baby....

even when caught in cameras.... is sweet.

A Baby...

reminds us how wonderful life is...

So lets live a life... like we used to live long ago... 

when we were still babies.

you may wonder why...

these are the reasons:

1. Babies trust the person holding, carrying and tossing him higher... they are not afraid to fall because they know that the person holding, carrying and tossing him would never let go of his hands and would never let him fall and get hurt.

---- we must trust GOD.

2. Babies eat or drink their milk only when they are hungry.

---- we must get what we only need in life.

3. Babies are simple yet beautiful.

---- be simple.

4. Babies easily get happy with simple things and simple games.

---- learn to be happy with what you have.

5. Hearing babies laugh makes your tired day relaxed.

---- Always smile so to make other persons day.